Summer at full swing

It's the time of year for the Ann Arbor Art Fairs. You know it's coming because suddenly it's really HOT in Michigan. We can't have a cool, comfortable, relaxing Art Fair week. You just are doomed to bake. We have decided to spend some time off and on this summer at my husband's family lake house. His grandparents who came here from Switzerland, purchased this little lake cottage in the '50's in Brooklyn Michigan. George's father was just a young kid. He grew up spending summers there, and subsequetly George and his siblings spent their summer weekends there as well. George's mom had put a lot of work into a few parts of the house, and unfortunately since their divorce, it has just been sitting there unused for nearly 3 years now. It's got a second floor that was added on to in the late 70's so it's a bit of a time warp/flashback needing much updating. His dad has too much sentimental attachment to it to just sell it, and someday George and his sisters will have to decide what to do with it. George and I are taking up the "torch". We hope his father will allow us to spend time there on summer weekends, and maybe eventually do some more work fixing up the place. We started the week of July 4th, and just getting it cleaned up from the mess left by the winter mice, etc., was tough work. They had a regular Mickey Mouse club going on over there. I have also had to face my fear of spiders. They LOVE it there. But, in the end it's been a great break for us. We don't have much time or space to ourselves as long as we live with his mom. That will have to change someday, and I hope to God we can swing it sooner than later. I don't mind living here, but it does get to me. I want my own kitchen. I love to cook and so does George. My mother in law is awesome, and lets us do what we want, but it's still not always that easy. The cottage is 45 minutes away so we can't be there all the time. It's not winterized so we can only enjoy it til it gets too cold. It's great for another generation to get a chance to have a nice carefree childhood jumping off the dock and swimming as kids should do. I don't want Nate to grow up with a game controller attached to his bone structure somewhere.

so lax of me

I am not blogging much these days. I barely email my tried and true email pen pals. This too shall pass. What I wish wouldn't pass, are the days of Nate's babyhood. They fly by too quickly. I just want to hold him tight and absorb him, and slow things down. I want all the little moments to last and last. I think if I could change anything it would have been having him so late in my life. That was unavoidable. I was never in a place in my life to have a baby when I was younger. I think people who space their babies 4 years apart have a good plan. They get to enjoy the littlest one after the previous child is old enough to enjoy their sibling as well. Each child gets much more specialized individual attention. It seems the second child and onward sometimes get lost in the shuffle a bit more than the first baby when they are close in age. But I can't wait 3 more years to try again. I don't even know if I can try again at all. Each stage of his life is wonderful, and I love it all so much, but unlike others who just roll with the changes, ever looking forward to the next, I feel this deep sadness underneath the smile he brings to my face, because I instantly think of how fleeting these "firsts" are. He's amazing.

Thoughts of Spring

Tomorrow is the first Saturday in April. It happens to also be April Fools day. An appropriate day for the traditional "Hash Bash" that happens in Ann Arbor every year. A great day to drag out the camera and capture the people that crawl out from under the porches or wherever they normally hang out and hide while smoking weed. Usually this date is a cold one so it's kind of miserable for the participants. The cops are usually running around looking for law breakers and it's just great fun for all. I say that sarcastically but it is a bit amusing.

Today was Nate's 6 month baby check up and he's doing great. He weighs 23.5 lbs. He's therefore still 99th percentile on the chub factor. He's also kind of long so he's in the 92nd percentile there. In other words, he looks like he's about 9 months old. I hope when he crawls he burns a little of it off. As it is, it's hard to keep him in clothing that fits.

another Sunday

This is Spring Break week in Ann Arbor so things are quiet. The barbershop closes early all week due to the low volume of kids around. I wonder what Katrina will do to the Mardis Gras crowd this year? Most of the buys I talked to are heading to Mexico or some tropical place for fun. I hope everyone has a fun FAT Tuesday. Nathaniel is getting bigger all the time. I can't believe it. He's about 22 lbs at 5 months old. I'll be posting some great photos in a few weeks. We went to a friend of mine's photo studio and she's a wiz with babies and children. We should have some cute stuff.

The last two weeks

It's been quite a life changing couple of weeks. Nate is just a little darling, and I know every new parent says it, but you can't describe the depth of love you feel when you hold your baby in your arms. I spent the first week in tears half the time because I just felt like I wasn't able to really take care of him properly since I couldn't feed him enough and he was getting jaundiced, etc. But it's gotten better in the second week. I get to hold him for a LOT of time, because he's apparently got a bottomless tummy and I can't keep him fed enough. It's wearing me out but I figure it'll all even out eventually. I love how tiny he is. I look forward to the fun months as he grows but a part of me wants him to stay just like he is for a while. Well, he's crying now as we speak, so I have to get off here.

He's here at last

I finally have my little guy....it was a long, complicated labor, but we pulled through thanks to some epidural help. I just have a minute to do a photo update. I sent these to a few of you already but just wanted a little posting publicly.

So busy

I keep putting things off that I can't put off any longer. I have to find a pediatrician for the baby, and get my own act together with various projects that I will not have time for later-like, a ton of thank you notes that I haven't had a chunk of time to take care of , and I just HAVE to get it going. We did our hospital tour a week ago and that was an interesting step to take. I had a small local baby shower at my sisters last Sunday. It was really nice to have my friend Robin from Tennessee visiting at the same time. Having such a huge change in my life coming up is starting to really finally hit me in a big way. There are a few aspects of the change that I am afraid of. I have always liked having control of myself. I've never really just surrendered my entire life to something else or someone else in every single way since adulthood. And that's just the way I've felt especially in the last few years. George and I have had this almost idyllic existence together, and this "honeymoon baby" is a big factor of change that is wonderful, and yet I always fear that it will be such a big change in our marriage and it's scary. We've rarely had issues needing to be resolved in day to day life, and a baby brings new issues to be resolved and I am hoping our lack of need for that previously doesn't leave us ill equipped. I don't want to be a statistic. Again. Not this time. Not ever again.