Friday, June 16, 2006
so lax of me
I am not blogging much these days. I barely email my tried and true email pen pals. This too shall pass. What I wish wouldn't pass, are the days of Nate's babyhood. They fly by too quickly. I just want to hold him tight and absorb him, and slow things down. I want all the little moments to last and last. I think if I could change anything it would have been having him so late in my life. That was unavoidable. I was never in a place in my life to have a baby when I was younger. I think people who space their babies 4 years apart have a good plan. They get to enjoy the littlest one after the previous child is old enough to enjoy their sibling as well. Each child gets much more specialized individual attention. It seems the second child and onward sometimes get lost in the shuffle a bit more than the first baby when they are close in age. But I can't wait 3 more years to try again. I don't even know if I can try again at all. Each stage of his life is wonderful, and I love it all so much, but unlike others who just roll with the changes, ever looking forward to the next, I feel this deep sadness underneath the smile he brings to my face, because I instantly think of how fleeting these "firsts" are. He's amazing.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Jess just enjoy Nate. He is God's gift to you. Remember there is nothing like being a parent when they are that age. john
Well its not that you are intentionally " lax" with things..just a lot busier ..with a beautiful precious baby and a good husband all to take care of..as well as taking care of yourself etc...so seeming "lax" in your blog and correspondence is understandable...and forgivable..I guess there is a perfect plan for having a "family"..sometimes it works..sometimes it does not..but the important thing is to enjoy to the fullest the initial years and moments of your present childs life..each stage will be different..exciting..and challenging for the most part...but one of the stages most beautiful is the one you are experiencing now...I tell my daughter who has a beautiful baby girl the same thing...cherish each moment now...not that all will be lost if you do not...but you will never find or recover or be able to enjoy these precise precious moments as life unfolds in this same child...so its ok to be "lax" in other things...just not in paying attention to Nate and his development..special precious moments etc....I know you are a great mother...I can see it in your words...I can tell it by your heart...
That's very cool... and even though I don't have any children of my own, I understand completely what you mean about parts of it. Maybe because I don't. Time ever marches onward, loosing sweet remembrances in her wake.
Post a Comment