Voice from the past

I am sure many of us have someone we've loved in the past who could still get to us if we allowed them to. I've cared for and loved a few men in my life, and I can't regret the experiences. They've shaped who I am now, and I finally learned how to recognize my Mr. Right. Until seven years ago, I didn't really know how it felt to fall in love. I was married nearly 9 years to a man that I initially cared for, and loved in a way, but the relationship was volatile and unhealthy. During the course of my marriage, I found a true best friend who made me see that I was a beautiful person inside and out. He of all people would want to know that my hopes of becoming a mother has finally materialized. My ex husband wanted nothing to do with having children, and had even had a vasectomy before we married to insure he never did. I was too blind to think about how that would affect me through the years of our marriage. This best friend of mine even talked to his wife about how she'd feel if he were to be a sperm donor to give me a child if I wanted one. It seems weird in hindsight- but he and his wife, and my ex and I actually got together to discuss this. I later learned that his marriage wasn't as stable as I'd always assumed. His wife initially didn't say "no way", because she loved being a mother herself, but later she couldn't deal with the idea of his being a donor, and of course that option never happened. I've since figured out she was -and is -an incredibly selfish woman. I guess now, I am very glad that I hadn't had his child. Through the course of my friendship with him, I fell deeply in love with him, and he with me, or at least I thought he did. Our marriages had been very bad for years, but I didn't want to ruin his life with his children by breaking up their home, so broken hearted, and divorced, I ran far away, to South Carolina and tried to go on with my life. It worked for a while, and I met someone that I cared for very much. Then BOOM that voice from the past called me and changed everything. His wife had left him for another woman of all things, and he was free to be with me if I still wanted him. I thought I had closed all those doors, but one phone call re-opened all the feelings that I thought had been dealt with. I moved back to Michigan, and for a while it was all I could hope for. But the damage done by his ex wife, and additional damage from childhood abuse took it's toll and we had to part ways. He needed to learn to how to make himself happy, and needed a lot of therapy. This time I really didn't think I'd recover from our breakup. He'd broken my heart twice. And it wasn't really anybody's fault either time. And I had no power over my emotions at future moments that I'd talk to him. I'd always hang up the phone crying my heart out, because I loved him so much. He knew me better than anyone. He could get into my head and my heart with the sound of his voice. This goes to show how much I needed someone like George. He has restored me and made me appreciate a healthy type of love. Well, that voice from my past called me yesterday. We've maintained a cautious friendship, but I don't pursue it out of respect for George. Well, as I figured would happen, he was so very happy for me that I was finally having the baby I wanted. He too seems to have found his personal happiness, and it felt so great to hang up the phone, and not feel the need to cry, or feel sadness. It's the happy ending I wanted, but thank God with the right man in my life. I am having a child with the man who truly is right. I am so happy to be strong again.