My favorite topic: Love

I've written 3 blogs today, and normally I wouldn't do that, but I had a lot on my mind before all the other stuff that was stuffed in front of it. I guess that I've reached this point in my life where I am feeling terribly vulnerable when it comes to love and my heart. I have decided to give it one more shot thanks to George, even though I've been through so much heartache. Everyone has to have their heart broken at some point, and I admire those who pick themselves up and go on. So, I did it, I let him into my heart ALL THE WAY!! I am such an old fashioned "traditionalist" but if I could do the asking, I'd be engaged already. I know women have switched roles, and have actually done the proposing, but I can't really do that. Yet I want it so badly. Life has been so chaotic, so up in the air. I just want some "order". I want to know what's going to happen. I want to be able to say "A year from now, I'll be a married woman working on having a baby" I already know George wants that. But it's always one of those "someday" conversations. I want my someday to have a date attached to it. If I were in my 20's, I'd not really be feeling this urgency. But I've been through enough shit in my love life...I want to cram as much GOOD and happiness into the rest of my years as I possibly can. I've waited a long time to have what I've finally found, and I am just beyond READY to take it all the way. I don't want some expensive ring on my finger, I just want a plain band if that's what it takes. If it makes it happen sooner, I'd be happy with the promise, not the jewelry. What the ring symbolizes is what matters. So that's really where my head has been lately. I just want to belong 100% to George in every way.