So busy

I keep putting things off that I can't put off any longer. I have to find a pediatrician for the baby, and get my own act together with various projects that I will not have time for later-like, a ton of thank you notes that I haven't had a chunk of time to take care of , and I just HAVE to get it going. We did our hospital tour a week ago and that was an interesting step to take. I had a small local baby shower at my sisters last Sunday. It was really nice to have my friend Robin from Tennessee visiting at the same time. Having such a huge change in my life coming up is starting to really finally hit me in a big way. There are a few aspects of the change that I am afraid of. I have always liked having control of myself. I've never really just surrendered my entire life to something else or someone else in every single way since adulthood. And that's just the way I've felt especially in the last few years. George and I have had this almost idyllic existence together, and this "honeymoon baby" is a big factor of change that is wonderful, and yet I always fear that it will be such a big change in our marriage and it's scary. We've rarely had issues needing to be resolved in day to day life, and a baby brings new issues to be resolved and I am hoping our lack of need for that previously doesn't leave us ill equipped. I don't want to be a statistic. Again. Not this time. Not ever again.

I'm getting nervous

There are so many conflicting stories and opinions on having babies. The chances of me being one of those easy stories seems awfully small. Knowing that, I just get a little freaked out. You'd think that with all the amazing miracles of medicine available today they'd figure out a way to make childbirth as easy as other formerly nightmare procedures used to be. I don't want to hear "but it's all worth it". Sorry, I am a serious WIMP. I barely survived getting my fingers stitched up. I hate to know that I am probably going to be doing the epidural option because I just am not up for hours of ridiculous pain. And just imagining that NEEDLE makes me ill !!! I KNOW my baby will be worth giving my life, but it shouldn't HAVE to be that way. So, all I can do is hope for the best. My pregnancy has been a healthy one. I wanted to go to a hypno birthing expert, but that costs serious money. I am doing some reading on the subject and who knows if that will help. I can't wait to see my little Nate. I wish I could just fast forward to that moment.

a free day off

I wasn't needed at either work places today which gave me a much needed day off. George and I actually accomplished a few important things. He knew I was getting pretty frantic and came through for me today. First, thank goodness, we just jumped into the car and went to Art Van for a good mattress set which we've put off too long, but it's so hard to just allow yourself to spend that much money in one place when you need so many things. But when push comes to shove, I am in desperate need of a good night's sleep and I am messing George's sleep up pretty badly in the process. I can't go choose something like that on my own, and we rarely are off at the same time. This week has been truly the last straw since I am truly feeling the weight of this baby more than ever. Art Van delivers and sets up....which is a big plus. We had a long to do list here at home, but our shopping trips including some hardware store needs took up major portions of our day. So, our next day off together is Sunday, which is our anniversary. I want that to be a nice day. Our best man just surprised us by sending us a copy of the only video that was taken that day. (bad planning on our part). It was great of him to get it to us by our anniversary. And starting next week, I hope to finally get a great night's sleep so things are really looking up.

The time flies by

We are nowhere near ready as far as the nursery project goes. We've got a lot of the painting done in the other rooms, but stuff must be moved out of that room still. I love George to pieces, but I really wish this was a real burning priority to him like it is to me. He gets so into his photography and other projects that he's consumed with, and I realize they are probably much more fun to do. I wish this "nesting' phase was contaigous. I can't be carrying boxes of books, etc.out of there. Realistically, the baby could be born at any time even tho' he's not due for over a month. I feel our living space is just complete chaos. We'll be having a lot of company visiting once he's born which has me in a panic. The good news: we've been given a crib and a changing table, along with many other needed items through the course of this pregnancy. What we have left to buy will hopefully be covered with gift certificates and maybe another baby shower. We've been really blessed so far.

I can't believe that our first wedding anniversary is this Sunday. This has been such an amazing year. I think we'll go someplace special for dinner. Being 8 months pregnant makes it hard to plan a get away or anything I'd normally want to do. I don't want to make the mistake some women do, and be so focused on this baby that my husband feels left out. We just got back from another visit to Virginia to see family and they were so generous with baby gifts, etc. We had a nice time but that car trip is the last one I want to take for a while.

A few little updates

My first baby shower in Indiana was last week. My sister Tiff, her husband Chris, George and I drove down together. We had a pretty nice time. I got to visit with some old friends and see a few of my great aunts. I ended up getting quite a few cute things for baby Nathaniel such as outfits, lots of baby bath stuff, and blankets, etc. George and Chris decided to go hit golf balls at a local course during the whole thing. George has since decided he wants to take up golf (God help me) so he picked up a little golf starter set yesterday at Play it Again Sports. He doesn't do too many physical sporty things so I can't really discourage it. I just don't want this to be an expensive hobby. Between the photography, canoe and kayak, and getting our home ready for a baby, I just don't see it being something we can invest in for a long time to come. We actually NEED to be thinking ahead, trying to plan for a house eventually. Housing around here, anywhere remotely close to Ann Arbor, is ridiculously high. Since I'll be working downtown hopefully for years to come, I just don't want to spend a lot of time commuting to a distant house.

Keeping busy....

......and getting bigger !! The work at the shop is going well. I am trying to just build skills and speed right now. I am basically part time for the summer. To see our shop and our team check out www.arcadebarbers.com. Our photo is in the "team" section. You can see me looking a little pregnant, though that picture doesn't really show anything ...intentionally!! I will be having my first baby shower in a little over a week in my hometown in Indiana. That should be fun.

A couple of weeks ago George and I got to work together doing a wedding for a friend of my sister's. He got to photograph. I got to do the bride's hair and make up. It turned out pretty well and we hope to eventually get to build up a side business doing some weddings together.. We had no previous experience so we're not able to charge much until we get a portfolio and a name for ourselves. You have to start somewhere though. His photos looked pretty good.

Finally working

I have finally received my license from the State and am certified and working. I am only able to get part time hours right now due to the slowdown of summer. That's probably best since I shouldn't be on my feet too many hours in a row as I progressively expand with "baby tummy". The spider veins are creeping up as it is....yuck. So far though, no stretch marks. I am also putting a few hours in here and there at my old photo lab just as a favor to them, and to keep me "in the game" there since I like having a little control over my own work that still needs to be completed. I can't believe that I am finally there. It's nice to have finally accomplished something. Now I have to start making some cash since I obviously can't depend on anyone else to come through for me. George needs a break and we have so many needs so he can't take one yet. I have faith, if only in the two of us together.