My favorite topic: Love

I've written 3 blogs today, and normally I wouldn't do that, but I had a lot on my mind before all the other stuff that was stuffed in front of it. I guess that I've reached this point in my life where I am feeling terribly vulnerable when it comes to love and my heart. I have decided to give it one more shot thanks to George, even though I've been through so much heartache. Everyone has to have their heart broken at some point, and I admire those who pick themselves up and go on. So, I did it, I let him into my heart ALL THE WAY!! I am such an old fashioned "traditionalist" but if I could do the asking, I'd be engaged already. I know women have switched roles, and have actually done the proposing, but I can't really do that. Yet I want it so badly. Life has been so chaotic, so up in the air. I just want some "order". I want to know what's going to happen. I want to be able to say "A year from now, I'll be a married woman working on having a baby" I already know George wants that. But it's always one of those "someday" conversations. I want my someday to have a date attached to it. If I were in my 20's, I'd not really be feeling this urgency. But I've been through enough shit in my love life...I want to cram as much GOOD and happiness into the rest of my years as I possibly can. I've waited a long time to have what I've finally found, and I am just beyond READY to take it all the way. I don't want some expensive ring on my finger, I just want a plain band if that's what it takes. If it makes it happen sooner, I'd be happy with the promise, not the jewelry. What the ring symbolizes is what matters. So that's really where my head has been lately. I just want to belong 100% to George in every way.

I am a bit calmer

This week just hasn't gone all that greatly. Thanks to a very computer savvy friend of mine, I was able to figure out the backdoor program causing my computer problem, and apparently it's a virus that lurks and waits for you to sign on to "PayPal" and grabs financial information. Unfortunately, PayPal's Terms are such, that you HAVE NO PROTECTION if anything goes wrong. So I hope to God I don't find out that my accounts were raided. It's happened to a friend of mine so everyone, BE WARNED. So, let's see, where did I leave off before all this. Oh yeah: My new first and middle names are ELMER S. and the last name is GLUE. I try like hell to make arrangements to have a little bit of a break at work, to get this "move" thing done a little bit each day, and I don't know why I bother. I stayed til 1 a.m. Tues night, and my darling friend and co worker called in sick the next day (and it was partly bull**) wasting my efforts to stay ahead. The day before that , she decided to go help people in another department instead of doing our work. Work due at 4 and 5 were late,- inexcusable as slow as our work load has been. Today, she was there and it was an ok day except for the computer snafu. Tomorrow is Friday, and I would love to get a nice easy day out of it. During all of this, I've been my sister's only ride to work- or anywhere else- so I have to work around her schedule and still get my stuff done. My other sister (her boss) keeps threatening to fire her since she can't get to work. GEE DO THE MATH: NO work, no money, no money, no car. GET A CLUE YOU TWO !!! I am beginning to think that I should have called my journal "Who can I blog to death" ? Alright, I need to sign off and do something more useful.